The End of an Era, The Beginnings of a Novel

Finally. Last exam today. Well tonight really. In honour of this momentous occasion, I've decided to post my own list of things I hope to include in my novel:

1. A funeral (for one of the bride-to-be's parents, with whom she was not close - so it's not sad) at which there is:
a. A suggestion that the engagement ring should contain a jewel made out of the parent.
b. A vampire named Gordon
c. A bear named Bruin
d. A "funeral crasher" who just came to eat all the food.
e. Jack Bauer is the funeral director (just kidding about this one...well maybe not, although it may be plagiarism)

2. A stripper at a really inappropriate place...maybe a wedding shower.

3. A scene in which the bride has to go wedding dress shopping with her future mother in law. Or maybe the mother in law offers her atrocious wedding dress and saying "no" gets really awkward. Maybe she can't say no and wears it in the end. Who knows?

4. Vows talking about protein-protein interactions/covalent bonds.

5. A wedding full of mishaps, such as:
a. A best man named Tab, not like the beer
b. A bridesmaid who tucks her dress into her garter and hose so that it looks like she has pick-ups on it, but she just looks terrible and her underwear is showing (maybe when she is walking down the aisle).
c. A champagne chugging contest with 14-year-olds.
d. A wedding singer who has recently gone through a break-up.
e. A hilarious song comes on while the wedding party is walking down the aisle. Song TBD.
f. Not so much a mishap, but maybe a drag performance (maybe a mishap after if the mother of the groom gets the microphone...yikes!)

6. A horribly inappropriate wedding photographer:
a. Thinks the best photo is one in which the bride is in the foreground and the husband looks "lovingly" (read: creepily) on from behind her.
b. Plays Pose by Justin Timberlake on a continuous loop to set the "mood".
c. Finds a way to add extra foreheads and chins, as well as take away teeth, necks and eyebrows from the people he is photographing.

7. The Leafs winning the Stanley Cup. I don't think I need to explain this further.

That's all I've come up with so far. I can't wait to start writing!