(31) Days of Summer

"It is my pleasure to inform you that you have officially kicked ass this month. No matter how many words you have written, you have done an amazing thing. Through distractions and demands and family obligations, you forged ahead. Your willingness to go out on a creative limb, to stand up and reach for an impossible goal, is an inspiring example to all of us ... Most of you - like me - probably do not write fiction. Fiction is something other people write. But this month, you dared to say, "Screw that. It's my turn." You stepped up to the plate. And there is nothing more admirable in this whole damn world than someone willing to set for themselves the fearsome task of trying something big."  - Chris Baty   I did it! My fifth novel is now complete. Last year I had a week off during NaNoWriMo. This year, no time off. It has been tough to fit in novel writing to my already jam-packed life, but I am SO happy that I did. I had so much fun embarking on this journey, a...

Thanks, Jackie, for introducing me to Troubles. Just one day of writing left to wrap it all up. I've had so much fun this year - but I am exhausted and my poor carpal tunnel wrist needs a break. I'll be happy to wrap it all up tomorrow. ~~~ As I climb over the edge onto the safety of the ship’s deck, I see something so terrifying that a cry out and turn back around in an effort to flee. Surely jumping off the ship is preferable to what I have seen on board. A tiny clown with violent green hair, glowing red eyes, and it’s mouth twisted into a rictus of malevolent glee is standing standing next to me. It holds a sign which reads: Danger. “Oh, why don't you take off that mask...What? That's not a mask? It's your face?” It says to me with an evil laugh, eyes glowing and it’s tiny body shaking so vigorously that he is moving around. Creepy circus music plays in the background. I jump back, nearly tottering off the ship. I regain my balance just in time. “Woah, move it! I...

  This excerpt needs no introduction. Unlike Gordon Toodie. ~~~ "Daniel Craig, is that you under those bangs?" from NYT Fashion “I won’t waste any more of your time," Jackie says, "and I’ll get right to the introductions after briefly reminding you that, unlike alcohol, This Ain’t The Stilton by Claire Reynolds paperback edition is for sale on board today, and the author herself will be able to sign your copy if you wish. “And now I’ll introduce our first act in today’s extravaganza. Dr. Gordon Toodie was born in Barrie Ontario in 1834. There he had an illustrious career as a private detective for many many years before leaving to pursue higher education. He attended the Social and Political Thought program at University of Toronto where he was awarded his PhD for his award-winning dissertation ‘Becoming-Piquette’ in 2013. After that, he moved to Florida in search of work and fell on hard times. It was there, at a government-funded employment agency, that he found ...

The day has finally arrived. The Grand Opening of the Floating Barrel/Stilton's final book tour stop/etc... The 'fleet' of water taxis to ferry the hundreds of people who have gathered waiting in line (headed by Lorina Rigaux, wearing her cursed scarf to protect against the October chill) is actually only four taxis. The day is ruined! Or is it... Photo credit: Government of Ontario Boating License Website ~~~ “Wait,” I say. “Is the figurehead on the bow a…skeleton? And are the sails torn ragged?” “It appears so,” Marcus answers, squinting at the ship. “Well that certainly is ominous,” I say. “It’s probably just decorated for Hallowe’en. It is just around the corner, after all.” “I’m sure that’s it,” Marcus says, his voice not conveying much confidence. “I’ll text Steph and Suzie to ask them.” He gets out his phone, types a quick message and waits for the reply. He does not have to wait long. It comes seconds later. “I don’t know anything about Hallowe’en decorations,” Marc...

The end is in sight! Only about 8,500 words left. I should wrap things up in the next few days. I'm reaching the final climax and denouement, so the writing should come easy now. I think that this may be my weirdest NaNoWriMo book yet. ~~~ Talk about a booze-doggle. The Grand Opening of the Floating Barrel, better known as the temporary nautical location for the world’s largest convenience store, was supposed to open up within weeks of it’s announcement in late August. It’s now late October. My final book tour stop was supposed to occur about 6 weeks after the Floating Barrel’s Grand Opening. But due to a completely foreseeable series of delays, my book tour stop/Cody Simpson and Flo Rida concert/Gordon Toodie dissertation reading extravaganza coincides with the Grand Opening. Most delays were due to hopeless ineptitude, such as the lengthy delay in securing a permit for alcohol sales on the ship. When asked by reporters about this, Ford said that the blunder was due to the challen...

Claire continues in her zoom meeting with her editor and publisher. I've learned by perusing NYT style pages that "Zillennials" are trying to be a "thing". Definition:  micro generation, making up young Millennials and older Gen Z. Born somewhere roughly between 1990 and 2000. Complain about constantly feeling ‘in between’ the two generations (which is, by definition!!!! their lot in life...) I read some fairly entertaining think pieces on Gen Z vs Millennial vs Zillennial fashion. I think you will find this exchange amusing. ~~~ “Right now, we are at the midway point of adulthood. A point of transition. Of ‘in between’ if you will. So that feeling has been exacerbated. For me, the itty-bitty crop tops of my youth seem too revealing, yet I don’t want to look matronly. I decided to renounce my short-short cutoffs, but the longer shorts I bought to replace them feel dowdy and unstylish. I want to evoke that I’m still young and interested in fashion but avoid looki...

The end is in sight. I'm still having fun writing, but since I am now 37 years old - and about to turn into dust at any moment - my left wrist has decided to develop carpal tunnel despite my best efforts at ergonomics.  I finally finished the meeting that Jocelyn expertly chaired, clocking in at just shy of 5,000 words. A delightful interlude.  The excerpt I'm sharing is inspired by an old "Ask A Manager" article , particularly the comments section.  Claire has finished her manuscript and submitted a cleaned up draft to her publisher, Steph. She is meeting with Steph and her editor, Suzie, to discuss next steps. I like to imagine Suzie getting back at her strange co-worker by decorating her car thusly in the office parking lot ~~~ I power up my laptop, log in to zoom and am immediately brought into the meeting from the virtual waiting room. Steph and Suzie’s cheerful smiling faces fill my screen. “Good morning!” They say in unison. Suzie is the editor I worked with on...

I don't even know what is happening in my book anymore. This excerpt is a continuation of the meeting of Jocelyn's alien-saving 'Dream Team'. "Aliens in caves" ~~~ “Did you start the meeting without me?” Gordon asks as he struggled to catch his breath, his face red with the effort presumably from running here and knocking down the bunker door. “Indeed we did start without you, as you were not invited,” Jocelyn hisses. “But I have important information about the aliens!” Gordon whines. Jackie fixes Jocelyn with a withering stare, which would work on many people but Jocelyn has steel in her spine.   “Fine,” she relents. “I’ll allow it.” “What are friends for?” Gordon asks the room cheerfully, all while awkwardly trying to give Jackie a hug. His efforts are unceremoniously rebuffed. Gordon conspicuously clears his throat. “I found this article online. I thought that you all would need to know it. And maybe, since I’m such a good researcher, that I can join the dr...