My entire plot progress is: four glasses of wine have been tasted at 4,398 words
I have now spent 4,398 words setting the scene. My main character has a name! Serena Lovejoy! Job title: Special Project Coordinator at Elysian Couture, a fashion conglomerate made up of many well known, high-end fashion brands. While I would love to, I can't post all 4,000+ words that I wrote today. You will find below select excerpts for your enjoyment.
Here, Serena Lovejoy (main character) and Evelyn Darkwood (supporting) are meeting at a wine bar to discuss Serena's proposal to change Evelyn's life.
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“Same old, same old,” I say as the bartender rolls up to us.
I am taken aback for a moment as I realize that the bartender actually did roll up to us. I subtly peer over the bar to see how he accomplished this, seeing carefully rolled, grey wash boot cut jeans exposing two inches of ankle over top of vintage, blindingly white Sketchers with wheels. His shirt is the same shade of white, with the neck and sleeves trimmed with black, and black lettering in what appears to be Comic Sans font: Free Men’s Ankles Support Group (TM). Completing the look were a pair of large, thick rimmed black glasses a sweeping medium-length brown haircut evocative of Justin Bieber in the “Baby” era, a name tag and a square button with the picture of a small child.
I look at his name tag, Colm (pronounced: “Comb,” with some extra “L” in it) Reaume (pronounced: Ray-ome) He/Him, Chief Somelier HUFF vineyards, Professional Fromagier. It was a rather large name tag, as I’m sure you can imagine. Beside this 5”x3” name tag was a small square button, with an adorable, jean-jacket-clad toddler, brown hair in ringlet curls, on a yellow honeycomb background, captioned “HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE”. Colm certainly cut a memorable figure.
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Here, some additional delightful background on Colm Reaume, who was supposed to be a very minor character. I like him so much he will probably come along for the ride. Link to the New York Times Fashion article (pay wall) that inspired the "Free Men's Ankles Support Group (TM)".
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As Colm pours the second glass in our flight, a Pinot Gris with a cool mineral scent and notes of apricot, pear, mandarin peel and a clay-salt finish, we learn that despite the adversity of the bullying he faced because of his name, Colm has been able to thrive and find joy as an adult. He carries many job titles: sommelier, Professional Fromagier, and founder of the Free Men’s Ankles Support Group (TM). This last job started out as more of a passion project. In his early twenties, he started to experiment more with fashion. One particularly warm summer, in a nod to the hot weather, he decided to dabble in higher hemlines to cool off, while respecting the rather strict company dress code. It was then that he learned men’s exposed ankles, sometimes referred to as mankles, have long been a source of fashion strife.
When he did wear trousers at the office that fateful summer, he wore them rolled to perfection two inches above his ankle. He was mercilessly mocked. “Where is the flood?” his coworkers and even passers-by on the street would ask. “Heading to a Huckleberry Finn Revival tryout?”, they would sneer. On particularly rankled co-worker, Lauren Sams, would pen a blog entitled “Is It Ever OK for Men to Flash Their Ankles in the Office?”
Heedless of the derision of others, Colm plowed ahead, making his own dress code for what has been dubbed “the new male cleavage”. Now, when a guy struts around showing off that strip of skin, he has rules to live by. Pants should never go above the ankle bone; anything above that tends to make legs appear shorter. No exposed statement socks; bare skin only. Be mindful of fit; too-tight pants evoke “dad pant”, a separate style category. The wider the leg, the longer the pants need to be. Conversely, the shorter the leg, the narrower.
A safe haven for like-minded, ankle-baring men from the mockery of unwashed masses was the raison-d’etre for the Free Men’s Ankles Support Group (TM).


I need to know, what is the ‘old’ male cleavage? A delightful cast of characters, to be sure. Cole’s name tag has the perfect amount of information, I hope this catches on. Heather would be delighted by the take on her EsNoWriMo design shirt. By the way, I am working with someone who does not know how to use track changes so embeds his suggested edits and comments using Comic sans, impossible to find and also inscrutable.
ReplyDeleteI hope that person will be delighted to be cast as a character one of the two "novels of the summer"
DeleteSam, this is a tour de force. I am delighted that Colm Reaume has come to life this summer in not one but two novels. I keep having to pause while reading to digest the hilarity of each sentence, only to be bowled over by the next.
ReplyDeleteA truly memorable cast of characters, can't wait to see what hijinks they get up to!
I don't know what's more impressive: how many hilarious lines this excerpt had, or the blistering pace at which you are writing. You are a force!!
ReplyDeleteI'm kicking myself for not ordering us all some buttons with HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE on them. Colm Reaume is a triumph in your novel-- this detail is one of many amazing ones.
The pants rolling is just the gift that keeps on giving. "Mankles"-- what will they think of next?!
So much going on here! colm, bieber, pants, ankles, rolling Skechers, the new support group, oversized name badges… I loved it!
ReplyDelete