Pull up a stool while I vamPOUR you a glass of wine: 55,603 words

I have wrapped up nearly all of my major and minor plot lines, and I have just one to go. I'll spend today thinking about whether the book can actually end where it is, but I think I need one final chapter to wrap up that last plot line (i.e. the opening of the cheese shop).

By way of brief explanation for the excerpt and photo, I saw a book about vampires while the kids, Indigo and I were at the library yesterday. I decided to pick it up and read it right there, for research for my book, and flipped through the pages quickly. There were a lot of words, and small font, and nothing funny was jumping out at me. Luckily, the author included these fake pearls, and it drew my attention this this beautiful piece of literary inspiration. It is utter nonsense. And perfect for EsNoWriMo. It reminded me a bit of the Martha Stewart hand soaps, and that you should always have extra on-hand in case of unexpected guests. But more mystical.

~~~

MID-SEPTEMBER

Jackie’s Place is now ready for the final walk-through. Gordon, Evelyn and I were meeting to go over everything inside and out with a fine-toothed comb, looking for anywhere that things might need to be adjusted or small details added.

At Gordon’s request, we meet after dusk and in the Coffin Room.

When we arrived, the room was, as always, poorly lit. Gordon skulked in the corner, his back to us. He was wearing a comically large cape, which appeared as though it may have been purchased from an online Hallowe’en costume retailer. When he turned around, he was wearing an overlarge blood-red name tag with white writing which had an unwieldy number of words: ‘Gordon the Vampyre. Pull up a stool while I vamPOUR you a glass of wine in The Coffin Room at Jackie’s Place.’”

“Gordon, I just have to ask. Are you a vampire?” Evelyn asked the question that had been on all of our lips for the past few months.

“Of course not, you cretin,” he replied. “I am a Vampyre. The emphasis is on the second syllable.”

“What difference does it make what syllable you emphasize if you drink the blood of humans?”

Gordon chuckled and scratched his chin with his uncomfortably long and pointed nails. “This is a question that pops up quite often, believe it or not. ‘What is the difference between vampire and Vampyre?’ And it’s often followed by: ‘Why are YOU a Vampyre?’ Well, here goes. I don’t know how widely spread this answer is or if any other Vampyres that Colm and I use the ‘y’ for the same reason, but here is mine.

“The word ‘vampire’ has existed for decades, used to describe fictional, mythical killers. They are the vampires with the special powers, the killer instincts, inability to go into the sun and who freeze when you break an item of monetary value - such as a pearl necklace - for long enough that you will have enough time to gather the correct weaponry to defeat them. More importantly, they are entirely fictional and there is no equivalent to these characters in the real world.”

“Sorry to interrupt, Gordon. I have a question. What was that about the pearl necklace?” I was perplexed.

“Haven’t you heard of that fact about vampires before? That they cannot stand it when you break something expensive? So much so that it can be their downfall?”

“No, Gordon,” Evelyn and I both replied.

“Oh, well, I hadn’t either. But I saw it in a library book last week, when I was doing some research with Colm. It was written so matter-of-factly that I thought it must be something everyone else knew, and it was just me who was out of the loop. The book even had some pearls included ‘for those without a handful at the ready.’”

“I don’t think that that is a thing, Gordon,” I said.

“Well, no matter. I’ll remove that from my speech in future. Anyway, many modern day Vampyres choose the different spelling to create a class of our own. As Vampyres, we set ourselves apart from the fictional creatures and establish ourselves as something quite separate. Vampyres are those who need the energy of others to keep themselves both healthy and sane, unlike the vampires you read about in fairy tales and horror stories who need the blood of others. In short, the changing from ‘i’ to ‘y’ merely separates modern day Vampyres from fictional vampires, so that there is finally some distinction.”

Evelyn was nonplussed. “I’ve got to be honest with you, Gordon. If you are trying to convey that you are a people person, there are far less confusing ways to go about it.”

“We will agree to disagree,” Gordon stated. “Let’s move on to the tour. What do you think of the place?” He asked, motioning his arm around the room.

Everything was perfect. 

Two weeks to opening, and we were nearly ready to go. 

We just needed our Jackie.