Day 15: It feels like I've done 19,172 Hill Repeats, but it was only 10

Hello fellow writers! I'm going to try to wrap up my novel by Saturday. I am still having fun with it, but I'm starting to get tired. It's a lot trying to work, so I'll try to finish while I still feel good. I had a really hard/fast run today, and then very shortly after sat down for my writing session. Unsurprisingly, I went on to write an excerpt that is mostly a description of how bad running feels. I've shared only the funny parts of my writing session. No one needs to read about how bad running feels. We don't need to be reminded. 

To: lenamatthews@bankofnovascotia.org

CC: Ad Hoc Wifi Contemplation and Coordination Committee Members

From: addisonbarger@bankofnovascotia.org

Date: July 15, 2025

Time: 011:33:28

Re: Doodle Poll for Follow-Up Meeting for Ad Hoc Wifi Contemplation and Coordination Committee

Good morning!

Looking forward to seeing you all at our lunch run today. I’m told by Chuck that it’s going to be a real corker.

(Don’t tell Jackie I said ‘real corker’)

Anyway, Leadership wants us to have another meeting. While our initial changes (thanks Lena!) have been very well received, there are still some wrinkles that need to be smoothed out.

Please click the link for the Doodle poll and we will get something set up. The McDonald’s is still booked up for months in advance, so it will be at Jackie’s Place again.

I have no idea what 'a real corker' means in terms of our lunch run. But I instinctually know that it can't be good.

~~~

Since the first day of the Mandatory Lunch runs, there have not been any speeches. So I’m surprised when I see Chuck with his bull horn at a makeshift podium. 

“Good afternoon, fellow runners!” he shouts with glee.

There is a small smattering of applause through the crowd.

“We are going to start today’s run with a bit of learning,” Chuck continues. “I want to talk about an important condition. It’s called ‘Aerobic Deficiency Syndrome.’ Now, you may think this is just a prettied up way of saying ‘you are not fit.’ And that’s exactly what it is. Sometimes harsh messages are best delivered in an overly scientific, jargon heavy way.

“The technical definition is not so much the important part of ADS, if you pardon my use of the acronym. The important part is what it means. It means you need to build up more of an aerobic base. This can be accomplished by high volume ‘easy’ paced running. And we also want to throw in some harder workouts, too. ‘Workouts’ in running terms means any fast paced workout, and can include intervals and tempo runs, among others. None of you will know what that means. But you are about to learn.

“So follow me. We will head to the cemetery for today’s workout!”

I turn to Jake, who has appeared beside me. “The cemetery? That sounds… ominous.”

“Agreed,” Jake replies, as he starts running at a slow steady pace with the group.

Luckily the cemetery is just a short distance from the offices and we arrive there in a few minutes.

Chuck hands his megaphone to Gordon, who has just walked out of a nearby mausoleum. He is wearing his waist length, lightweight, sweat-wicking running cape again today, this time in racing blue.

“Good afternoon,” Gordon says. “I have chosen the cemetery for today’s run for a few reasons. The type of run we are doing today is hill repeats. The first reason I have chose the cemetery, and the most important, is the long hill that is the exact type of terrain that we need. Secondly, the hill is shaded by the large trees. And third, we are conveniently in a cemetery and can quickly bury those who pass away due to today’s hard efforts.” (AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I actually do my hill repeats in the cemetery, for all of the exact reasons that I have listed)

A silence comes over the crowd.

“That last part was a joke,” Gordon tries to reassure us, flashing an unconvincing smile that shows off his long canines.

A nervous laugh ripples through the crowd.

~~~

“If you all look to your left,” Chuck says, pointing in that direction, “you will notice this perfect hill. We will be starting shortly. Run at your own pace, but run hard. The purpose of today’s workout is to push your heart rate into a high zone.

“On your mark. Get set. Go!”

Without even time for a thought, I start my FitBit tracking and head up the hill at top speed. I am very quickly out of breath and feel my pulse has kicked up. My hamstrings are already complaining about the effort. After what feels to have been at least three hours of hard running uphill, I check the time on my watch. 

Unbelievably, only 20 seconds has passed.

I continue to slog my way up the hill, each step harder than the last. I am breathing hard and erratic now. All the muscles in my legs are screaming. I think I might be starting to get a stitch in my side. I look to my right and see Jake, looking effortless and powerful, matching me stride for stride. He somehow has the capacity to drop a wink in my direction. 

I want to punch him in the face.